Have I mentioned that I hate bugs??
I HATE bugs!!!!
And Oklahoma just happens to be home to all sorts of lovely and exotic insects.
The kind that belong in a rainforest somewhere in South America.
Oh, and when I say "lovely," I really mean gross!!!!
Bugs that look like this:
Okay, so you've got the idea, me+bugs=no.
Well, on my drive home from a run with my sweet little Piper, I couldn't help but notice a creature crawling on my windshield. Crawling on the inside of my windshield. {And let me inform you that from here on out, all facts about this creature are going to be slightly exaggerated. For questions regarding this exaggeration, refer back to Part 1 of this post.} It was a glowing with red and black stripes across its back and wings pervading out of its side. Creepyyyyyy!!!
Every ounce of my being wanted to freak out...I mean arms waving, me screaming, swerving and probably killing everyone on the road! Not good. This was not helped by the fact that the bug kept crawling closer and closer to the driver's side. With my arms gripping the steering wheel, I had to mentally talk myself out of letting go and going insane! Now I realize this sounds ridiculous, but all I could think of when that bug was crawling around was how, at any moment, he could choose to use those red and black striped wings to fly on over to my face {or arms & legs}, land on them and give them a big ol' bite! Luckily, it was only a 7 1/2 minute drive home {yes, you better believe I was counting!} and Piper and I made it home safely without any incidences. When we pulled in to the garage, I was able to put the car in park and calmly sweep the bug out in a napkin.
Then it occurred to me....this bug is how so many circumstances in life can be. The bug represents a situation that we are fearful of. When we encounter that fear, in the moment we want to do everything possible to avoid it, even if it means harming ourself or others. We react in ways that have no logic behind them. And why? Because we're so focused on that little tiny bug, that little tiny fear, that we lose sight of how good everything else around us is and instead to choose to focus on a millimeter in the miles of the big picture. Does that make sense?? The more we focus on the fear, the larger it seems and drowns out everything {and everyone} good around it. We've got to learn to zoom out and be able to function, even when a fear of the unknown is present.
This really resonated with where I'm at right now. It's so easy to get caught up in the unknown of our future, for this current situation to feel so permanent. But really, in the grand scheme of things, this is only a small part of the bigger story. Where Matt and I are at right now, what we've been through and what we're going through are all going to benefit us in our future. They're making us stronger. {I can already hear my girl, Kelly, singing backup!} And we have one HUGE advantage in our lives.....we serve a God who is madly in love with us and wants nothing more than to pour out his blessings and goodness all over our lives. He can see the big picture and is weaving every part together to make something beautiful! So I have the choice to focus on the now, the temporary, the unpleasant or I can choose to lift up my eyes and focus on the God who is not going to let me fail or die unhappy. I think I'll stick with Option 2.
"Fear based decisions seem logical to solve a problem - but they only increase the problem & delay the inevitable consequences of unbelief."
Jimmy Evans
"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."
Zephaniah 3:17 NLT
"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."
John 14:27 NLT