Sunday, September 23, 2012

Insanity on Sunday {not the workout kind}

My heart is full!
Remember when I told you about the amazing adoption journey over at Treasures Over the Rainbow?
Well their journey apart is finally over and their two little kiddos are home safe!
Funny how blogs can emotionally connect you with people you've never met.
Such is the story with this family!
Here's a little peak at their adventure's beginning. 
I pretty much cried the whole 15 minutes.
God has used this family's journey to teach me something about my own.
Bear with me as I try to explain....
You've already heard me talk about the last two years...blah, blah,'s been hard.
I've mentioned to Matt before about how I wonder if the reason why the consistent lesson in the last two years has had to do with patience and trusting God is because that's what's going to be required of us in our adoption journey. Yet for some reason, it has never occurred to me that the separation and feeling of loss that I've experienced could also be part of that lesson. It never occurred to me until today, when I was reading about the post-adoption process. When a child is torn away from their environment, no matter how young they may be, the emotional effects of the trauma are felt, even by infants.  It is natural for them to regress and experience grief at the loss.  My heart started aching as I read this, aching because I know how hard that loss can be at my age, and I can't even imagine having to deal with that loss at a much younger and less developed stage of life.  God was totally speaking to my heart. No, I'm not saying that God intentionally made these last two years hard to teach me a lesson. That is not in God's nature to be mean. He is good and anything contrary to that is not of Him. What I am saying is that in that moment of ache, I could feel him speaking to my heart, whispering, as only a father could, saying, "Your hurt isn't wasted and for no reason. I promised to turn all things for good."  
I already love our little ones more than words can say. And I have no idea all of the trauma and changes that they will have experienced in their little lives by the time we're able to bring them into our family. In fact, I can't even imagine it! But what I do know is that if this small taste of loss that I've experienced in my life will make me a more compassionate, patient and understanding mother, I would go through it 100 more times so that my child wouldn't have to feel like the pain they're going through is gone through alone. Is it weird that I already love my kids that much and have no idea who they are?! Sometimes I think I could claim insanity.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Friday, weren't you here yesterday?! Oh wait, no, that's when you were supposed to be here. Ah well. Better late than never!  Dear September, do you even know how happy you make me?! Not only are you my own personal New Year, but you carry so many other wonderful qualities like......scarves, crisp air, boots, colorful leaves, layers upon layers of clothing, pumpkin spice lattes and the best quality of all, you bring fall! For these things and more, I thank you!  Dear Husband, thank you for taking such good care of me while I wasted away in piles of tissues and cold medicine this week! You truly are my hero, and I love how you baby me when I'm sick! Because let's face it, I am a baby when I'm sick!  Dear Messy Hair, thank you for making such a great nest on my head. The earth thanks you for all the saved water and unused shampoo.   Dear Sickness, why must you love me so?! Because I promise the feelings aren't mutual. Do you really enjoy watching me sleep the day away and cough all night? Do you get some kind of sick pleasure out of watching me blow my innards into a Kleenex?! Please find a new hobby. Preferably one that doesn't resemble me.   Dear Husband, sorry for sharing my sickness with you. Tissue?


Dry Shampoo and Red Lipstick

Sometimes when I get home from work, the first thing I do is put on red lipstick.
Husband keeps asking why I do this, and my response is, "I'm practicing!" 
Practicing for what, you might ask. The truth is, I really have no idea. And thank goodness husband has never asked that question. Because if he did, this is what my real answer would be {performed in true melt-down style}:
"I've had a long day of coughing in my ear, crying on my shoulder and sneezing on my keyboard. So right now, I want to feel girly. Yes, I'm aware my hair hasn't been washed for four days and I'm wearing a hippie shirt and pajama bottoms, but I need something, anything, to inspire me! So right now, I'm going to play make-believe and pretend like I've been wearing this lipstick all day while parading around Paris in my heels {which also happen to be red}. Yes, I do want to feel pretty every day. And yes, I am aware that washing my hair more often would help achieve that. But when all else fails, there's always dry shampoo and red lipstick!"

So here I sit.
Hippie shirt.
Pajama bottoms.
Five-day old hair, nested on top of my head.
And red lipstick.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

25 Like This.....

{early} Birthday shopping {with mom} for this:
{Shirt: Mint Boutique, Skirt: Mint Boutique, Shoes: Steve Madden, Jewelry: F21 & 31 Bits}

Wearing jewelry like this:
{this company changes lives like this

With red lipstick like this:

Staying in a house like this:
{vacay...hey, hey!!}

And eating cake like this:

But most importantly, being both surprised and spoiled by amazing people like this:
Needless to say, my love tank is on "full"!!!
Husband put soooooo much effort in to making the day {week} special!
There were surprises around every corner!
I was honestly blown away by the little details that were put in by my friends and family to make turning twenty-five such a special and unforgettable experience!
I'm convinced it's only a foretelling of all the awesome things that this next year holds!

Bring it on 25!
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