Much to-do about Disney!

Husband had some great news the other day.

He informed me that Cinderella {a.k.a. the movie solely responsible for every little girls' dreams} is going to be released from the Disney vault! 

Vault: the holder of all things wonderful and Disney. Why must you hold childrens' dreams captive?!

So, needless to say, I wasted no time adding it to the top of my birthday list!

{Oh hey, my birthday is in less than one month!!! It's the big TWO-FIVE!!!! Eeeek!}

It seems fitting that the movie should be released in time for my birthday.

Cinderella practically raised me.

When you're little, most children pray that God would bless their food at dinner time. But nope, not me. At dinner time, I prayed that Cinderella's step-mother and sisters would be nice to her. Those are the things that really matter, folks. I had my priorities straight!

So did my mom. And that's why my Cinderella time was cut in half. A drastic move, if you ask me.

Nonetheless, our relationship held strong.

And that's why she's at the top of the bday list twenty-five years later.

However, the vault {the true Disney villain} thought it better for me to wait until after my birthday to release Cinderella. {See, I told you. Vault = Villain}

Alas, I will have to wait until October 2nd to be reunited with my dear friend!

But it's okay, I have my dear Belle to get me thru until then.

You see, Cinderella may have raised me, but Belle is who I became.

Don't believe me??

Here's proof:

You see, not only do we both have brown hair and matching horses, but we both love adventures, reading {the same book over & over}, eating food while being entertained by utensils, singing original songs {Disney has yet to get their paws on mine}, and laying in the middle of the field while wishing on a dandelion. And don't even get me started on how much we both love castles and baguettes! Let's just say, Jef and Emily pretty much stole our {Belle & mine's} dream date in the library. Really, Emily?? You're not even a brunette. At least steal your date ideas from a princess who resembles you. I bet Sleeping Beauty could give you plenty of great ideas! Wandering thru the forest barefoot, baking a cake, wearing a dress that changes from blue to pink?? Although, I would avoid any relating to spindles or sewing machines.

You want to hear something even more magical?! When my sister and I went to Paris a few years ago, we, of course, went to Disneyland! And guess who I met there? In her home country of France?!

Belle, herself! And as always, looking lovely.

{It should be noted that I did, in fact do my hair that day. But the rain and lack of sleep had other ideas on what a good first impression looks like.}

Oh hey, and Lumiere was there, too!

Yep, we were in heaven!
Don't you just love Disney?!

Prisoners of Hope

Today I'm feeling extremely grateful. Grateful for the hope of a bright future and that our present hurts and disappoints don't deter us from the greatness that God has locked up inside of us. Grateful that, for the first time in quite a long time, I'm excited for what the future holds!

Growth has been on my mind a lot lately. Specifically, the type of growth that only happens by going through hard times. It is from that type of growth that comes not only a deep wisdom and understanding, but also a deep compassion and tenderness for people and all of their humanity. Growth is the positive reaction to trials; all the while, bitterness fights as its opponent. It takes a determined heart not to let bitterness win the victory.

The last two years, our journey has been filled with ups and downs. Luckily and thankfully, I've had Matt by my side through it all.  Moving away from family is probably the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. Ever.  And it's only gotten harder with the arrival of my little niece. It's so hard not to think about how much I'm missing. It's not just birthdays and holidays anymore, it's missing out on watching my little niece smile for the first time, wondering what makes her laugh, and having to watch her grow up through a computer screen.  My heart aches for home and the familiar. I feel like my life has been nothing but uncertainty the past two years. After getting married and moving to Oklahoma, I finally felt like we had developed a routine. We had our cute little house we had finally transformed from a bachelor pad in to a home, two little poochies and a couple of very close friends. That all didn't last long, because after only nine short months of being married, we packed up our sweet little house and made the move to Tulsa and were going to move in with my in-laws for a couple months until we got settled and found a place of our own. Once again, it felt like the rug was pulled from underneath us as we discovered that the contract on our house fell through and we were stuck with a house in another city, living with my husband's parents, and struggling to make ends meet. That year was the most difficult as we both worked extremely hard to keep everything together financially, only to watch the money we had saved for our future home slowly drain. It felt like the life was draining right out of us. We both took those changes in stride {with a little lemon and salt}, and kept going.

Finally, in February, we had a huge financial burden lifted as we found someone who wanted to rent out our house. We both felt so relieved that we could once again, start rebuilding our savings account. It's been such a huge blessing!  However, this year gifted us with a different set of challenges. Challenges that I had heard countless stories about, but never experienced on a personal level. All the changes that these past two years have held finally caught up with my body and has spun me in to a whirlwind of depression and anxiety attacks. I won't go in to too many details, but I will say that for being a person who is usually very happy-go-lucky and glass half-full, I have never struggled more with the inner battle between deep sadness and an overwhelming sense of guilt, frustration, helplessness and complete darkness. Depression truly is a deep pit that feels completely hopeless.

But the thing I'm learning through all this {and granted, I have my days}, is that even though the situation seems hopeless, it's not. Even though the depression and anxiety attacks make me feel like I'm going crazy, I'm not.  I can only thank God that I've had Matt to be here helping me through everything. Having battled anxiety himself a few years ago, he's there to help remind me that this is not my fault, it's nothing I've done wrong, I'm not going crazy and deep breaths are my best friend. He is truly the human form of God's graciousness in my life.

Oddly enough, this whole journey makes me grateful. Grateful for days like this when I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Grateful that I woke up this morning, and the picture at the top of the screen was the first thing I saw, and I just knew it was God whispering to me the message of "hope". Grateful that God never disposes any of our hurts; He's as green as they come when it comes to recycling and making things new. And most of all, grateful for the love and support of family, who have been so gentle and patient with me through this process.

One of our good friends gave me the best analogy: sometimes our life is like a sling-shot. We have to take a few steps back in order to be launched forward in to our destiny. So maybe these setbacks are just pulling us farther and farther back in order to be released forward in to something so much greater than we could have ever imagined! The set backs are the ammunition that's used to launch us forward.  And as difficult as it seems some days, I'm reminding myself to stop looking at the destination and enjoy the journey. I keep reminding myself to live everyday on purpose. To not let any of my sadness overshadow the good days that we have here. And as my dad so eloquently puts it, "Do your best to soak up every moment; because when you look back, the good days will be the ones you remember. The bad ones will just fade away into the past." Thanks, dad.

So, this is my goal:

"To love life, to love it even

when you have no stomach for it

and everything you've held dear

crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

your throat filled with the silt of it.

When grief sits with you, its tropical heat

thickening the air, heavy as water

more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weights you like your own flesh

only more of it, an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face

between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes, 

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you again."

{Ellen Bass}

I will grab life by the face, life that so often seems plain and ugly, and I will choose to unfold and dig up the passion that is buried deep within. My journey is more of a hunt. A treasure hunt. A treasure that was placed there by one who loves me, chose me and considers my soul the true treasure. The One who gave me this promise, and will not fail to fulfill it.

"As for you, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will free your prisoners from the waterless pit. Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you." 

{Zechariah 9:11-12}

Yes, friends. There is always hope.

Easy-Peasy Guacamole Heezy

The girls and I were talking about vacations today....about umbrella drinks, big hats and guacamole....all things poolside! So of course, what do I crave the rest of the day?? Guacamole, of course! But not the guacamole that comes in a packet from the store, guacamole that has all things fresh! So here's what I came up with:

Easy-Peasy Guacamole Heezy

{Don't ask about the name...there really is no rhyme or reason. Okay, I lied. There is a rhyme. But definitely no reason.}
Ingredients {i.e. The Goods}:
1 Avocado
1 Small Tomato
1 Clove Minced Garlic
1/2 Tsp Lime Juice
1/4 Tsp Salt

Directions {kind of overrated.}:
Cut and core avocado. Scoop into bowl.

Wash and dice tomato. Add to avocado mixture.

Stir until avocado has a smooth .

Mince garlic and add to mixture. Stir.

Add lime juice.

Salt to taste

See?? I told you! Easy-peasy! The best part is that this takes 10 minutes from start to finish. Aaaand is a mean competitor to any restaurant style guac! The other best part? Everything is fresh and natural! Farewell guac packs! You will not be missed.

Have some leftover avocado? Try this. Your face {and you} can thank me later.

Coffee Talk

Today was one of those mornings.

One of those mornings when you're exhausted from the not sleeping and then sleeping too long.

One of those mornings when you're running late already, only to finally get in your car and spill  breakfast all over your lap.

Out of the car I go.

A change of clothing is in order.

And later still.

To work I go.

Then, a magical thing happens.

The magic that comes from a sip of that cool, leather looking liquid we call "Joe".

The world comes to a pause.

And one of those mornings disappears.

And the day is brand new.
And now, today is a day of big hair, feather earrings and oversized glasses.

Thank heaven for Joe.

Yes, friends. This is how much I love coffee. That I would dedicate an entire post to nothing else.

Happy Thursday!

Peachy with a side of Mondays

I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who woke up this morning and wondered if I was in the movie "Groundhog Day".

{source}

Mostly because it felt like Monday came twice this week.

This thought kept happening over and over again today.

But then, I would remind myself that it was not, in fact, Monday, and Friday was right around the corner! Things got real peachy then!

So in a sense, we really get two Fridays!

I was superrrrrr happy about that thought.

But not quite as happy as I was Tuesday night.

Mostly because I didn't have to work the next day.

Mostly because husband didn't have to work the next day.

And mostly because I had a hotttttt date that night {husband}.

We got real crazy and stayed up past 9:30 {pm, that is}!

We had been hearing so much about this thing called Night Life that we figured we should try it out for ourselves.

We did.

It was pretty good. Mostly because we had awesome company. And mostly because we saw the new Spiderman movie. 

Not even going to lie, I couldn't figure out if I had more of a crush on the guy playing Spiderman or Emma Stone. It was darn good!

She's so great! Classically great. I may be in love with her.

But I have come to the conclusion that I like early mornings much more than late nights.

I'm officially a senior citizen.

Does that mean I get a discount now??

{source}

Oh hey, remember when I told you about how brave husband and I were trying something new? Oh yeah....we're cray-cray!

Well I told him I have a new life motto. It's called "Don't knock it before you try it."

I figured this was a much better motto than my last one, which was "Say I'll never do things and then end up doing them."

Like.......

Say I'll never have a long distance relationship......then date and marry a boy that lives 1,500 miles away.

Say I'll never move to Oklahoma.....then hear that song played at every major event while I live in Oklahoma.

Say I'll never move in with my in-laws.....then wake up to Matt's parents' smiling faces every morning.

I think you get the idea.

I either needed a new motto, or just needed to start saying that I'll never do things that I actually want to do.

I chose the former. I'm far too afraid of saying "never" anymore.

In honor of that new motto, I tried something that I told a dear deary of mine, was disgusting.

This dear, who shall remain nameless, had a habit of peeing in the shower.

Yes, you read me right.

Peeing in the place where you're supposed to be getting clean.

{And she wondered why I wore flip flops in public showers??}

I know, I'm totally grossed out writing this.

But you're about to be more grossed out by what I did.

I, Marcie, a confessed germaphobe, did the unsanitary.

I she-sheed in a place that only should be welcoming only soap and fruity shower essence.

I peed in the shower.

And it was disgusting.

Mostly because you're peeing on yourself {what I wouldn't give to be able to have some kind of aim}.

And mostly because the steam in the shower makes everything smell like urine.

But don't worry.

I bleached the bejevees out of that shower.

Because that was a disgusting idea.

But I'm only allowed to knock it, because I tried it.

So, my nameless dear, I will never understand your justification of this action.

But I do applaud you for your bravery.

So now it's your turn.....what have you been illegally "knocking" without first trying?? 

Confess!!!

I leave you with these beautiful {blurry iphone} pictures of fireworks from last night.

Because baby, you're a firework!

And then there were three....

I guess this is usually how people announce they're pregnant??

What a cute idea!

Well, sorry to disappoint you, but there's none of that water in this house.

But, I did have the sweetest little dream the other night that I wanted to share with you!

So, Matt and I have a big dream of adopting one day.

It's a dream that's been stirring for quite a while. 

In fact, before I got married, my dream was to go over to Africa and work with orphans.

That dream is still there, but has taken on a different form.

Matt and I would like to do international adoption. 

Now,  I understand a lot of people turn to adoption because they aren't able to have any children of their own. However, that is not the case with me and Matt.

We want to adopt because, well, we want to adopt!

Simple as that!
It's part of our heart. Part of who we are.

So the other night, I had a dream about the sweetest little eighteen month old African boy. He had the biggest little cheeks that were perfect for kissing! And in my dream, I just knew that this little boy I was holding was mine. Man, oh man, was I in love with him! I remember just crying when I looked down at him, I was so in love! It was the most incredible thing!
I truly believe it was God's way of reassuring me of all the dreams that he planted deep inside our hearts!

One of my favorite blogs to follow right now is Rachelle over at Treasures Over The Rainbow. She and her husband are in the final stages of adopting two little cuties from Ethiopia! Their journey has been long, nearly two years, and has required a lot of strength, patience, faith and love. It's truly inspiring and exciting! If you get a chance, stop by and leave them some love and encouragement.  Heaven knows we all need it!

Anyway, I can't wait to meet that little boy I was holding in my dreams. I've also had dreams about a little girl, so let's just say, I'm a little more than stoked to meet them one day! If you catch me on a real emotional day {which is nearly everyday}, I'll start crying just thinking about it!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite adoption stories. I literally have played this about fifty-seven times, and still cry {shocker, I know}! 

Blessings of a Burdened Heart from smith on Vimeo.

The Evolution

This is my 100th post!!

Happy 100 to meeeeeee!!!!!!!

Let me take a deep breath so I can make sure to get all 100 blown out....because you better believe I want all 100 of those wishes that they represent!

It's been so fun to watch the evolution of my little bloggy.

Like so many other blogs, it started out as a way to include friends and family who lived away in the planning of our wedding.

{here}

Back then, my little corner was called, "Just A Life Full of M&Ms"!

Then, once the wedding was over and we were all settled in, the blogging continued as a way to connect back home with my family. 

And the blogging continued.

I truly was in love with it.

And then one of the first big steps of the evolution began:

"Just a Life Full of M&Ms" changed to "A Sigh and Sanity".

My blogging time became my time.

It was my time to sit down, relax, take a deep sigh and find some sanity in all the craziness that our life held.

So I kept writing, and writing, and writing.

And then I found this whole new community in blogging! 

I started reading, and reading, and reading and.....you get the idea.

I will admit, though, when I first found this community, I initially became OBSESSED with gaining more followers! I would check and re-check my stats bar. And then hit refresh so I could check it again. 

It was bad!

I had lost sight of why I started my blog and was only writing more often to get more statistics.

It literally burned me out. I didn't enjoy writing anymore.

I decided to take a break for a little bit and when I did write, I banned myself from looking at the stats bar! Haha...maybe a little drastic...but it worked!

I got back to my old self. The self that loved writing.

The self that loves writing.

It's so much fun to read back and remember what was going on in my life when I wrote certain posts. 

When we first moved in to our house, my blog was almost all DIY projects as I documented every little project I made that helped transform our house in to a home.

{here}

Then, we adopted two little poochies who made a regular appearance in posts...mostly because I needed sanity from all the tearing up and pooping they were doing around the house.

{here}

Then, once we moved, I did a little bit of fashion blogging.

{here}

And now, it's been hijacked by a 6 week old little princess {who also happens to be my niece!} 

My blog is pretty much a combination of everything! A little of this and a little of that!

It's funny how slowly it grew when all I did was obsess over new followers. But once I sat back and just enjoyed myself, the growth process was natural. Funny how that happens, huh?

Well anyway, thanks for letting me wish my blog a very happy 100th!

And thank you for sticking along the way!

I love reading your blogs just as much as I enjoy writing my own.

Some days {which seems to be most days lately} when I'm so exhausted from work and my brain can't bear the thought of typing one more thing, I treat myself to your little corners. The corners that make me laugh, make me cry, and help me realize that I'm not the only one out there rocking week old hair! Ha! {Yes, I usually only wash my hair once a week. Twice, if you're lucky. But that's a post for another time, because I know I have you all disgusted.}

So happy, happy one-hundred posts to me and my bloggy!

Cheers to 100 more!